PEN Mondays - You’re Not a PR Firm. You’re a Teacher.

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5 min read

It’s that time of year again.

You sit down to enter final grades and immediately feel it: the tension. You don’t just see numbers—you see names, families, email threads, subtle pressure, unsubtle pressure, and the distant sound of a parent saying, “But they tried really hard…”

Let’s be clear: you’re not in the business of handing out feel-good participation trophies. You’re in the business of education. And that means sometimes, your job is to say:
“This is what was earned. This is what stands.”

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You’re Not the Villain. You’re the Mirror.

A grade isn’t a punishment. It’s a reflection of a student’s performance over time - across assignments, projects, behavior, effort, and engagement.
If a student slacked off, missed deadlines, put in the bare minimum, and is now somehow surprised by a low grade, the surprise is not your fault.

If a parent is furious that their child didn’t receive the A they “expected,” it’s not your responsibility to preserve their illusion. Your responsibility is to tell the truth, kindly and clearly.

That’s what mirrors do. And sometimes, people don’t like what they see.

Disappointment Is Part of Growth—Let It Be Felt

No one likes seeing a kid disappointed. But if we inflate grades to avoid hurt feelings or hard conversations, we’re doing long-term damage. We’re teaching students that:

• Their current effort is enough, even when it isn’t.

• Accountability can be negotiated if your parents push hard enough.

• Their self-worth is tied to a number on a report card.

None of that helps them grow.

Let disappointment exist. Let it sting a little. Because in the real world, feedback doesn’t always come in emojis and gentle phrasing. And a student who learns to face a setback in grade 9 might handle life a lot better at 25.

Parents Will Be Upset. That’s Not Your Problem.

Somewhere out there, a parent is typing a furious email titled “Concerns About My Child’s Grade” while cc’ing half the admin team.

You don’t need to fear that email.

Parents are allowed to advocate for their kids. But advocacy isn’t entitlement.
If the work didn’t meet the standard, you don’t owe anyone an apology.

You owe them clarity.
You owe them fairness.
You owe them consistency.

But you do not owe them a grade that wasn’t earned.

This Is What Professionalism Looks Like

Professionalism isn’t “keeping everyone happy.”
It’s being able to stand behind your decisions - even when they make people uncomfortable.

Your gradebook isn’t a customer satisfaction survey.
You weren’t hired to manage reputations.
You were hired to teach, assess, and hold the line.

You did that.
So, be proud of it.

And When You Get That Angry Email?

Here’s your script:

No emotion. No apology. Just professionalism with backbone.

It is also important to recognize that you must have the discretion to know when to send an email like this or not. Sometimes, family and life events that are out of the student’s control prevent them from completing their work. It’s understandable, but that is not what this article is focused on.

The point here is that you, as the teacher, have the responsibility to guide, coach, educate and grow your students into young people who will enter the working world some day. Putting your foot down now will be tough for them, but will save them more hardship in the future.

TL;DR

You’re not here to soothe egos.
You’re here to reflect reality, teach growth, and grade with integrity.
Parents can be upset.
Students can be disappointed.
You can still sleep well at night.

Because you didn’t fold.
You told the truth.
And that’s exactly what good teachers do.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We would LOVE to hear from you!

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