PEN Mondays - Teaching Is Not Customer Service

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5 min read

Walk into any school today and you might hear whispers of a familiar sentiment: “The parents are the customers.” Or worse: “We’ve got to keep our students happy.” In some corners of education, this idea has started to take root — that students and families are customers, and that teachers are here to provide seamless, pleasant service. You know, the way a barista smiles through a wrong drink order, or a customer service rep patiently nods while someone demands a refund for a clearly used product.

But here’s the thing: education isn’t customer service. And when we treat it that way, we shortchange everyone involved.

Because teaching isn’t about delivering instant satisfaction — it’s about building something that lasts. Something that hurts a little while it’s happening. And that’s not failure. That’s growth.

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We’re Not in the Business of Comfort

Yes, teachers serve a community. They support students, care for families, and answer to the larger systems around them. But teaching is not about keeping everyone happy. It’s about helping students grow — and growth is uncomfortable.

Customer service is built on the idea that “the customer is always right.” But in education, the very heart of the job is knowing when the learner is wrong. When their reasoning is flawed, when their behavior is off-course, or when they think they know something they really don’t. Our job isn’t to nod along and let them pass — it’s to intervene, challenge, and correct.

In customer service, a good experience means smooth sailing. In teaching, a good experience often means wrestling with ideas that shake your worldview. Or failing an assignment and learning to try again. Or hearing a truth you weren’t ready to face. It’s not easy. It’s not always fun. And it’s definitely not neat.

But it’s real. And it’s necessary.

Discomfort Is Not a Red Flag — It’s the Work

Let’s be honest: no one likes being uncomfortable. Students don’t. Teachers don’t. Parents definitely don’t. But discomfort is where the magic happens.

Think about a student learning to speak up for the first time, despite social anxiety. Or one who finally has to grapple with a historical perspective that challenges their worldview. Or a kid who always got A’s… until they meet you, the first teacher who holds them to a standard that requires more than coasting.

Those moments feel like friction, but they’re actually signs of momentum.

We’ve created a culture that sees any resistance — a student getting frustrated, a parent questioning a grade, a teacher feeling tension in the room — as failure. But that’s like thinking sore muscles after a workout means you should never exercise again. No. That’s just your body waking up. And in the classroom, it’s your mind doing the same.

Boundaries Aren’t Mean. They’re Necessary.

Somewhere along the line, “being a nice teacher” got confused with “never saying no.” We see it when late assignments get infinite extensions, when students check out but still pass, or when parents demand grade changes like they’re ordering an extra side of fries.

But here’s the truth: conflict doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

Teachers are allowed — expected, in fact — to hold boundaries. To enforce expectations. To teach students that effort matters, that deadlines are real, and that consequences exist. That’s not cruelty. That’s consistency. And it’s what every kid needs to build a spine in a world that will not be as soft as the classroom.

This isn’t to say you should be inflexible or unkind. But if your north star is always “I hope they like me,” you’ll lose sight of what they actually need.

Authority Without Ego

Let’s talk about power — not in the authoritarian sense, but the kind of grounded authority that comes from knowing your craft and leading with humility.

Some of the most effective teachers don’t shout, don’t power-trip, and definitely don’t act like they have it all figured out. They walk into a classroom knowing they’re in charge — but also knowing they’re still learning. Authority and humility aren’t opposites. They’re partners.

In fact, ego is often what gets in the way. A teacher with a fragile ego can’t handle being wrong, can’t admit a mistake, and definitely can’t learn from their students. But a teacher who models curiosity, adaptability, and openness? That’s the kind of adult who shows kids what real confidence looks like.

When you hold authority without ego, you’re not just managing a classroom — you’re modeling what it looks like to lead with wisdom.

They Might Not Thank You Now — But They’ll Remember

Here’s the hard part. You might never see the results of your work. The student you challenged might roll their eyes. The parent you held firm with might complain. The kid who finally learned to revise their work might grumble the whole time.

But ten years from now? When they’re applying for jobs, facing a tough boss, or navigating life with a clearer head — they’ll remember you.

They’ll remember that you were the first person who didn’t let them quit. Who didn’t let them slide. Who didn’t pretend life was easier than it is.

You weren’t there to please them. You were there to prepare them.

And you did.

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