5 min read

Welcome to The PEN Mondays! Let’s start your week off with a little pep in your step!

Ah, entitled students. They’re the ones who think deadlines are merely “guidelines” and grades are negotiable, like prices at a flea market. They’ll argue for an A because they thought about doing the assignment, as if points are awarded for sheer mental energy.

And just when you think you’ve handled the situation, in swoops the parent. Polite email? Sure. But it’s usually followed by a polite demand for extra credit, a retest, or—my personal favorite—the “My child just isn’t a B student” speech, as if grades are based on identity, not work.

While it’s easy to get frustrated with both students and their parents, it’s important to remember that underneath it all, parents really do want what’s best for their kids. They just sometimes believe that “what’s best” involves bending the laws of time, space, and reality.

Let’s start with the students. They’ve grown up in a world where participation trophies are a thing. They may put in some effort, but last time you checked, "effort" and "results" aren’t the same thing.

As teachers, we want to acknowledge their hard work, but that doesn’t mean we hand out grades like Oprah handing out cars. “You get an A! You get an A! Everybody gets an A!” No. That’s not how life works.

This is where we, as educators, need to set some boundaries. And no, not the flimsy kind where students test them like velociraptors checking an electric fence (Jurassic Park anyone?) . Clear, firm, and fair boundaries.

It’s okay to be empathetic—after all, we’ve all had those days where the Wi-Fi crashed or life got in the way—but empathy doesn’t mean bending every rule. If a student missed a deadline or didn’t meet the criteria, that’s a perfect learning moment!

Life lessons like “actions have consequences” are just as valuable as algebra, even if they don’t come with a multiple-choice test.

Now, on to the parents. They’re just trying to advocate for their children, but sometimes it feels like they’re advocating for their child to be above the rules. Whether it’s insisting their kiddo deserves a higher grade because “they’re an A student” (as if it’s a personality trait) or wanting special treatment because their child is “just under so much pressure right now,” the requests can feel… endless.

Here’s the thing: you most certainly can be firm without being the bad guy.

The key is to acknowledge their concerns while gently reminding them that rules exist for a reason. A little humor can go a long way. When a parent asks why their child didn’t get extra credit for “thinking about doing the assignment,” a light, “Well, if I could grade based on thoughts, I’d have psychic powers!” can diffuse tension. It’s a way to show you’re listening, but also not bending to every request.

When dealing with tricky parents, it always helps to keep conversations focused on facts: the syllabus, the policies, and the student’s actual performance. Stick to the numbers, not the feelings, and remember that it’s okay to say no.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for a student is not to rescue them, but to let them face the natural consequences of their choices, and by your example, you might teach the parents a thing or two as well!

At the end of the day, your job is to teach—not to make everyone happy. Setting firm boundaries with students (and their parents) is part of helping them learn responsibility, resilience, and, dare I say, humility.

Life isn’t always going to go their way, and learning that now is better than learning it during their first performance review at work. Sure, they might grumble, and their parents might send you another email, but deep down, they’ll respect you for holding the line.

So the next time you get that email that starts with “As a concerned parent…” take a deep breath, remember you’re the professional here, and hit reply with compassion—and boundaries. And if all else fails, remind them you’re happy to discuss their concerns… during your nonexistent free time (That’ll be another post, for another Monday).

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Would any of this work in your school? Have your admins tried something similar? What’s worked and what hasn’t?

We would LOVE to hear from you!

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